The Way We Are
by KiraSupporter
Summary: At an interlude in the Kira case, Light and L have a discussion to define their exact relationship. LightxL
1. 1st Installment

Rating: M for strong and suggestive language and mature themes

Warnings: BL/yaoi/slash/whatever you prefer to call the rampant homosexual frolicking of characters encouraged by twisted fan writers. Not an overly serious fic. Not Beta'd.

Summary: At an interlude in the Kira case, Light and L have a discussion to define their exact relationship. LightxL

A/N: One of the many Death Note stories in my head begging to be written. My computer's hard drive crashed recently and I lost umpteen zillion stories that I had stored on it of which I neglected to back up anywhere else. So, despite the fact that I have another posted DN fic still in progress, it will be a while before I can get that one back to where I'm happy with it again, and this is a good distraction in the mean time.

The Way We Are (1/4)

-

-

"Yagami-kun wants what?"

L's head actually came up from his laptop. His expression was as bland as if Light had merely requested tempura udon be added to the following day's lunch menu, but Light took several quick steps back from him. The handcuffs between them jingled his mild alarm.

The expression might have been as blank as ever, but he hadn't been expecting the startlement he heard in L's tone, and he certainly hadn't been expecting to receive the man's full attention, as L was adept at dividing it and usually did. It was disconcerting whenever it fell on him, and he mentally commanded himself not to give in to the urge to fidget or avert his eyes.

He'd broached the subject, after all, so he couldn't back down.

He didn't bother with repeating himself because he knew perfectly well that L had heard him the first time - L might look like he wasn't listening, but he actually heard everything that happened around him. So Light focused on defending his position instead.

"Well," he replied, "I mean, it's not unreasonable. I only said so because I am your boyfriend."

"Are you?" said L, and Light frowned at him.

He was firm when he said,"Yes, I am. Even though you never actually asked me."

L stared back without the slightest featural indication of repentance at Light's rebuke. Light almost sighed, but he remained undaunted.

"You did say that you feel "great affection" for me," he continued, "and I never said I don't feel anything for you."

"Besides, we do everything together now. We're chained together, we sleep in the same bed, shower at the same time. I know exactly how much sugar to add to your tea whenever I make it. That makes me your boyfriend."

L never even blinked when he said, "All right," to Light's challenging words like he was agreeing to a contract more than an emotional attachment. As if he hadn't been the one to approach Light and admit, after overhearing several fellow students at To Oh make unkind comments on how that strange Ryuga Hideki was always trailing after Yagami Light like a lovesick puppy, that he felt something very much like love for Light.

"And so," said Light.

"So?"

Light released his frustration in a huff.

"So I don't think it's unreasonable that we...sleep together."

L cocked his head to one side like a curious Spaniel and brought his thumb up to nibble on as he stared at Light.

"Yagami-kun said we already do that."

Light gaped for a moment and then leveled a glare at him.

"I said we sleep in the same bed," he spluttered with indignation. "That is not the same thing, Ryuuzaki. You know what I mean. Sex. Or at least kissing or something. We've never done that. You're being deliberately obtuse!"

"I don't know what Yagami-kun is talking about."

And the fact that L was suddenly avoiding his eyes as he voiced a denial that was an outright lie in response to Light's last accusation was enough to worry Light out of being angry with him.

There was no visible flush across the man's pale cheeks, but Light was afraid that he'd embarrassed him in some tremendous way, even though he was trying to be very mature by having the conversation in the first place. Two men of their age and intellect should be capable of having a rational conversation about sex, since it was only a biological process.

"Hey, Ryuuzaki, I'm sorry," he said the minute the man averted his gaze, and moved closer again.

"I didn't mean to offend you. Is it because you've never had sex with anyone before? It doesn't matter to me - "

L looked back up again.

He didn't appear to be offended at all, really, Light thought. Actually, the offense looked more like droll amusement.

"Yagami-kun thinks I'm a virgin?" he said when he decided to interrupt. "What would cause him to make an assumption like that?"

Light's confusion caused him to hesitate quite openly as he regarded L.

He was busy noting that L didn't say he wasn't a virgin, just asked what made Light think so, even if the implication was there that he was no such thing. He seemed fairly serious. Given his age, Light would have expected that he wasn't, except that it was L, which, upon further reflection, wasn't a very solid reason.

"Well," he replied, trying not to sound too awkward in the way he was taken with surprise by the solemn way L was watching him.

"You - you're a world famous detective known for never showing your face to anyone. And you told me that I'm your first friend, so you can't have met many people. ...Unless you were lying about that to get me to feel guilty enough to admit to being Kira."

"Yagami-kun is my first friend," L assured him when Light's words made it plain how upset he would have to be if the detective had merely been making a devious ploy.

"But," he continued, "the last time I checked, it was not requisite that one need be the friend of a sex partner. Also, though I am mostly content in keeping to myself, I sometimes go out when I feel the desire. There is nothing in my appearance that would suggest I am a world famous detective, as I'm sure you'd agree, and I have more sense than to act in a suspiciously paranoid way when in the public eye, or to go around introducing myself as L if I didn't wish it to be known."

"Oh."

Of course.

Light felt himself actually blush at the demonstration of ignorance he'd made. Thankfully L didn't appear interested in taunting him about the lack of consideration he'd given the matter.

He thought it over now.

"So, you're really not a virgin."

"No, Yagami-kun, I am not."

"Then what's the deal over sleeping with me?" he demanded. "I'm attractive. And I'm old enough, and I'm certainly consenting if I'm asking."

"Ah," said L, resuming biting at his nail. "It would be because I don't like sex, Yagami-kun."

-

-

A/N: So, now that I've (hopefully) provided mild entertainment with this offering, is it fair enough to ask for your reviews to entertain me while I busy myself writing the more interesting chapter wherein L and Light delve into the real issues? )

Also, as a side note, I think I invented several words in this story, and even as an English Ed. major, I can't bring myself to care. If Doctor Suess and Tolkien can do it, so can I, dammit.


	2. 2nd Installment

Rating: M for strong and suggestive language and mature themes

Warnings: BL/yaoi/slash/whatever you prefer to call the rampant homosexual frolicking of characters encouraged by twisted fan writers. Not an overly serious fic. Not Beta'd.

Summary: At an interlude in the Kira case, Light and L have a discussion to define their exact relationship. LightxL

A/N: Who could have guessed that the second installment would come so quickly? I do have the bare bones of this all planned out, but not polished. It's not a particularly deep fic, after all. And I happened to have a day off from work with little else to accomplish today (Right before the holidays, you ask? I'm sure I'll be regretting this move around the 20th, but hindsight and all...), so I turned this out faster than I anticipated I would. Enjoy. Don't expect any promises that it will happen this way again. I can't schedule postings. Life interferes too much for that.

The Way We Are (2/4)

-

-

Light was intelligent, everyone who met him said so. His IQ qualified him as genius in 194 world countries. So he ought to have been able to understand such a position. He had a fleeting thought that perhaps it was the hormone level of his current age that made it as largely incomprehensible as it was.

"You don't like it," he repeated. "You don't like...sex?"

Really he'd been anticipating hearing something like, "I'm afraid of what your father will say if he thinks I'm manipulating you," or, "I'm hesitant to have a physical relationship with my main suspect in case you really do turn out to be Kira, because it would be bad for me to be that emotionally invested."

He'd already formed counter arguments for those. He'd been preparing to say, "Screw what my father thinks, I'll tell him I'm old enough to make my own decisions if the subject ever comes up," or even more simply, "I'm not Kira." In fact, he very nearly said the latter just because it had become reflexive.

But he didn't know what to say to "I don't like sex." Why did L have to make things so much more difficult than they should be?

"Not particularly," the detective affirmed.

"B-but why?"

L seemed even more amused by Light's incredulity, though he only let it show through the way he was tracing designs through the icing of his cake slice with his coffee spoon. He certainly didn't miss the, "But everyone likes sex!" in Light's expression.

"Yagami-kun is a healthy young male and his hormones are probably affecting his aptitude for understanding."

Light folded his arms.

"Don't try to slither out of the question, Ryuuzaki."

L returned a woeful look of long suffering for Light's scowl that said just how cruel it was of Light to distract him from more important thinking with conversations of such little consequence, but Light wasn't budging. He was resolute.

The detective exhaled a breath Light hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"I simply do not enjoy the experience, Light-kun. It's the way I am. That is all there is to say," said L.

"I apologize for not discussing my aversion with Yagami-kun at an earlier point, prior to him becoming my boyfriend, but I did not realize it was an issue that he would place such importance on. A miscalculation on my part. I ought to have taken his age into consideration. The way he has spent so many weeks feverishly pursuing Kira and ignoring baser needs, it simply seemed that he was similarly disinterested with the process of copulation."

"Well, when you make it sound as appealing as that..." Light complained.

He slid onto their bed as far as their connecting chain would allow him; L had deliberately placed his desk very near their bed, so that if he was having one of his bouts of insomnia he could work in the middle of the night while Light continued to sleep undisturbed.

L offered him a brief smile around a forkful of the cake he had turned a portion of his attention to.

"I'm not bad in bed, you know."

Light executed a tempting stretch and a lascivious lazy lidded gaze that he was convinced was his most alluring to accompany that assurance, but gave it up when L simply said, "I would never dare to imagine such a thing of you, Yagami-kun," as if looking at an openly enticing Light was as interesting as examining a rare fungi.

"What kind of partner did you have, anyway? They must have been terrible," he said in a grumble as he turned over on his stomach.

L refrained from commenting, so naturally Light became insistent. It was his job to understand L, after all. He felt that very keenly once the man released him from his mostly voluntary imprisonment. So he had to discover as much as he could.

"No really, Ryuuzaki, who -?"

"That is getting very personal, Yagami-kun," L said.

To which Light replied, "I'm your boyfriend. If you're not personal with me, what's the point? We're certainly not doing anything else together."

L surrendered, only very unhappily. Light was a practiced and excellent hand at emotional blackmail.

"I have had," he said, "sexual encounters on two separate occasions. One with a young woman I'd estimate as slightly older than myself. The other with a man definitely older than myself."

"The woman first," Light deduced. "And you didn't enjoy her, so you tried men next. You probably went for someone already experienced both times. Then you let yourself get apathetic about it since you still weren't satisfied."

L eyed him grumpily and shoved a large bite of cake, larger than the size he'd usually take, into his mouth so that he'd have an excuse for not answering. A typically L display of childishness.

Not that Light needed him to make any other confirmation; he'd worked very closely with L for months, and he'd learned how similarly their superior minds worked. It was the logical next move for a man of L's intelligence to make in the circumstance.

He propped his chin on one hand, picking idly at stray threads on the coverlet with the other.

"Tell me about it."

L's glance turned withering.

"I am a detective, not a writer of erotica for the amusement of perverted teenagers," he said after swallowing.

"Who's perverted?" Light rejoined. "You said "healthy" yourself. Besides, I just want to know. I'm not asking for obscene details. I might have to get irrationally jealous if you gave me those."

He paused for thought before adding, "Actually, I think I'm already jealous. Two people who apparently didn't mean anything got to sleep with you and you're telling me I can't because they did. It's not fair."

"Yagami-kun says it like I'm a prize," L muttered and then sighed deeply in the regretful way he always did right before he was about to give Light exactly what he wanted; L hated giving Light what he wanted whenever he felt he was being obnoxious, he had called Light "spoiled" on multiple occasions.

Light leaned toward him intently, but L was deliberately looking away as he narrated the tale.

"The young woman was the member of a very selective establishment that did business with reputable clientele. I had Watari arrange an appointment for me at that place when I reached the age of consent. It was important for me to learn in the event that, in the course of my duty, some person tried to coerce me with sex. It was awkward. She was patient. I never went back."

Light nodded, half satisfied.

"And the man?"

L seemed more reluctant to discuss this, but he was, as Light well knew, too proud a person to admit discomfort by leaving a job half finished.

"I conducted an experiment without assistance or advice. I...let him pick me up in a bar. He was drunk and I was entirely sober."

Light made an exaggerated grimace, which L ignored.

"He invited me back to his flat, but we never got as far. We had sex in an alley behind the bar."

"Did you bottom?"

L flushed delicately at Light's very direct question, just the lightest tinge of pale pink sufficing his elegant cheekbones. He pressed his lips together until they were bloodless.

"That's a "yes,"" said Light. "Did you use lube?"

Not a sound from L.

"Tell me he at least prepared you."

More silence.

* * *

Don't even ask me what IQ level quantifies genius or if it actually changes from country to country. I imagine there's variation, if there's a standard at all in some, but I haven't a clue. I can tell you, however, that there are apparently, by most accounts, 194 world countries that actually qualify as countries (excluding erroneous territories and countries governed by other countries): 192 belonging to the United Nations, and as long as you're counting the Vatican City and Taiwan. 

(And people say you can't learn anything from reading/writing fan fiction. Hah, I say.)

All right, L would actually be speaking Japanese to Light, like in the anime, so strictly speaking he would have said アパート (apaato) or アパートメント (apaatomento) and there wouldn't be a separate translation for "flat," which is the British way of saying apartment. But L grew up in England, which Light already knew, and I enjoy being able to use British slang, so there.

* * *

- 

-

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the first installment and actually came back for more! And those of you who favorited and set up alerts. I'm always flattered.

Pinku Aisu Kuriimu::grin:: Love your penname. Cute. My favorite Light is traditionally uke, but his position is a bit strange in this particular story. Feel free to read my take on it in the Author's Corner if you're interested. :) And I'll definitely keep up with the updates. Thanks for reviewing!

Nilahxapiel: You know, when I saw your review it actually took me several minutes to get over the 'Oh my gosh, my favorite Death Note fan writer reviewed my fic!' before I could even read what you said. You are so talented, and your stories are so mature, I adore every bit of your writing. :) As for seme/uke, its a little but not really ambiguous? I did mean LightxL as far as the actual events of this story, but my view on who is/should be what is slightly different. Also, I hope I would never ruin L's character that way, please feel free to give me a shake if it appears to be turning into that! Thanks for your review!

whitelilly: Strictly speaking it is LightxL, yes. I hope you really do enjoy the direction. Much appreciation for your review. :)

death by storm: It is all headed in that direction. How'd you guess? ;) Thank you for the review!

Wry Cat: Usually, but he's currently having difficulty, so Light's going to be the training wheels for a while and then we'll see if L catches on. Thanks!

Also, apologies, I lied, there are going to be 4 installments (damn typos). So I'm now halfway there! I think this is the quickest paced fic I've ever written. My plot bunnies have a tendency of turning into monster bunnies.

Is it terribly greedy of me to ask for more reviews? Please, I'm only a struggling Liberal Arts major. Have pity on me. Reviews are my only bread. ;D And feel free to offer honest criticism. Writers can't ever have enough help.

Return to Top 


	3. Author's Corner

Author's Corner:

Well... I don't usually, but I feel the need to make an extra special note here to discuss my choice of pairing, because everyone has commented in some capacity. LightxL does designate Light as the seme / aggressor / top / dominant / what have you. I understand that, and latter parts of this fic will make it inescapably clear that he really is by the technical terms.

But.

And this is a huge but.

I prefer LxLight.

I say this because I see myself as having a tendency to write Light as an uke-type character whether or not he's technically "in charge." I envision him as a sort of...pushy bottom. Controlling. Demanding. Forceful. Dominating from the bottom. So this is how his character tends to go in my hands.

Also, I prefer Light as uke because I have a dislike for seeing L as uke. I feel that many fan writers make a mistake in writing L as more naive than he actually is. I see some of the information given in Death Note as taken far too literally and turned into massive fandom wide cliches. The entire "L has to be a virgin" assumption baffles me (if no one could tell from my first chapter). Where does that come from, anyway?

And, just as an observation, I've noticed that this fandom is very divided as far as those fans who support LxLight vs. LightxL. Generally (and maybe it's simply because I'm looking in all the wrong fandoms), I see fans for 2 characters either in strong agreement about the dom/sub roles, or not particularly picky. I've heard some Death Note fans, however, voice the opinion that they only read fiction that is LightxL (or LxLight, whichever they happen to prefer). Personally, I can overcome any preference for the pairing arrangement (and sometimes even the pairing itself) if a fic is well written, but you have to give it a chance first. Does anyone else see this or is it just me? I though maybe it might have something to do with which of the 2 characters we support in the Kira vs. L battle. Do fans that like L and spend the anime waiting for Light to get what's coming to him prefer seeing L as being one particular position in the relationship? Do Light fans prefer to see him dominate completely? It really makes me curious.

But I suppose I really should get off my soapbox before this quick note turns into an essay (Is it longer than the chapter itself?). I just thought I'd clarify my position on the LightxL label I've put on this fact. Sorry if I've disappointed anyone or discouraged any readers by saying it.

KS


End file.
